Mom says you live in Texas right now but she’s going on a plane to pick you up on Saturday. She told me something about “Puppy Week” and said since I’m a teenager now I have to write you a letter. I didn’t want to, but I’m an easy bribe if treats are involved.
I’ve never been on a plane, so you have a +1 on me there, but that’s where it ends lil’ sis! Let’s get one thing clear up front: I rule. You can be my cool sidekick though…I can live with that.
Since I’ve come to live with mama and dad, we’ve lived in 3 different houses. One of our rules is “Semper Gumby.” I guess this comes from daddy’s days in the Marines. Sometimes when I bark, I’m really telling him “OO-RAH” but he doesn’t understand. Oh well, more barking required to get my point across! I guess there will be lots of moving in our future, so I’ll teach you the ropes.
I have tons of things to teach you, but let’s start with the basics. We’ll work our way up to advanced Bug-training as you get older.
> Daddy goes somewhere every afternoon and when he comes home, his socks smell REALLY good, but only until laundry day. They hide the socks fast, so react accordingly.
> “Snake” is the most fun game EVER. All we have to do is nudge daddy’s hand 35 times and he’ll play.
> Mama’s best for snuggling. She works a lot in front of a big bright box so when we want to sleep, it’s mama we snuggle near. There’s a dark cave by her feet with fluffy blankets and it’s really cozy. You’ll see!
> When mom or dad raise a pillow high in the air, they mean business. You have to stop whatever you’re doing and relax. Grandma’s working on teaching me silent commands…something about “sign language” for dogs?! Pillow in the air is all I need to stop doing whatever I’m doing.
> Speaking of grandma, no peeing on her oriental rugs. Mom cries when I do that because I guess it costs a lot of money to clean oriental rugs.
> Bedtime is bedtime. No digging or gnawing at the pillows after 11 p.m.
> Skunks are not our friends. There is a squirrel and chipmunk contingent in our front yard, and many birds and rabbits. None of these small creatures are our friends, but skunks are definitely the worst. Sorry if I still stink a little – lesson learned!
> Laundry day is the best day because tons and tons and tons of clothes get laid out on the bed and when I grab a sock, shirt or undies, mom and dad chase me ALL over the house.
> Sometimes everyone eats what they call “Rotisserie Chicken” and it is the very best and most delicious meal they have! I get a bit nutty and beg for as much food as possible. They learned not to deny me after I had a few potty “accidents” all over the house. LOL – they thought I was sick! #humanfail #perfectlyhealthy
> Smile and hold your tongue when they dress you in the Christmas dress. Been there, done that. It’ll only happen once or twice.
I guess mama likes to say when they brought me home they knew immediately you would come home too as soon as possible. So, basically, I’m so awesome they wanted to multiply me…so there’s that. I guess they chose you because you’re pretty unique but similar to me anyway. Whatev.
No matter what, I’m excited to meet you this weekend and have a sister to play with everyday! Daddy says we need to become best friends really fast. We’ll see. Just remember that I’m the big sister and you’re the little sister. Kapish?
Big Sister Extraordinaire | Lover of Bully Sticks | AKC Barking Champion